One huge barrier I’ve encountered in taking care has been the feeling of lack and living in the idea of scarcity. Believing that I do not have enough and may not get enough stirs fear up in my heart and keeps me from doing things that are important and necessary to being healthy and functional and wholehearted. Working from a place of fear and need has never worked out well for me. It has only created more problems and fears and has shut me off from really living and engaging and growing.
I begin to see things shift for me when my internal dialogue embraces the idea of abundance and abandons the idea of scarcity. Practicing gratitude is one step towards this shift. Making lists of things that I’m grateful for and starting and ending the day with a prayer of gratefulness have been good ways for me to turn my eyes towards the light, but those things will often only get me so far. Deep down beneath those practices, sometimes I still feel fear and a sense of scarcity and dread churning in my stomach. My mind still races, trying to figure out how I can make everything work, how I can keep my head above water, how I can head off the crises that come with life. I can only find relief from that fear and anxiety in one place – the belief that there is enough. There is enough time and love and hope and resources. God’s provision is perfect, the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, and I don’t have the whole story and I don’t need the whole story – I can only live my part of the story, and that is enough.
It requires faith and sometimes, I know that faith seems unfathomable. But I also know that at the end of my rope, at the bottom of my rock bottom, what I want is something to believe in and that thing to believe in can’t be myself or anyone else or anything of this world because all of that is faulty and failing and fallible. I need to believe there is a divine source, a light, love. I need to believe there is hope. And so I always end up choosing faith again, over and over; practicing belief over and over.
So often, I don’t feel taken care of because I don’t allow myself to be taken care of in the divine way. I try to take care of myself and everything around me to the point of trying to micromanage my entire life, making sure everything goes right and everyone is okay with everything and it’s not possible. When I do this, I’m not resting, trusting, releasing. I’m clinging too tightly to that which is only a shell casing of a life. There is life abundant but in that place of lack, I am too busy holding on to ideas, systems, and ways of life that the world came up with. God is bigger than our ways, our systems, our ideas. God has more to offer us than we can create or gather for ourselves.
I do not need to be perfect and I do not need to create my own abundance. God is the source. God is abundant. Love is the source. Love is abundant.
Life doesn’t need to look like anything anybody else told you in needs to look like. It doesn’t need to be easy to be good. Hard things are not bad things, they are just life things.
Starting from a place of enough, a place of rest, a place of fullness, gives all of life a different perspective. It’s easier to widen the lens a little and that changes the whole landscape. As I start to step back, away from my self and the ideas that are loud and harmful and all wrong for me, I realize all that is left to do is trust fall into love – the love of the divine, the creator, the essence of life and heaven, the beginning and the end. Letting go of the idea that I need to do something about my life frees me up to actually be present in my life and that ability to be present actually does do something for my life. It allows me the freedom to be not just a body, but also a spirit that can connect to a world beyond the physical world that I live in, that has access to the source of life and water, that has access to enough. And knowing I have enough makes wilder, freer, kinder. I’m more open, more patient, more resilient, more generous with my time and energy and resources. I’m able to approach my day with a sense of wellness and from that place there is power. There is power in spending a day openly engaged with your spirit and with the source, the divine. There is power, there is freedom, there is peace, there is enough.
There is enough light and love and hope out here for you too. May you embrace today the idea of abundance and abandon the idea of scarcity. May you know the deep, abiding provision of love today. May you feel the weight lift and the air clear around you as you find rest and wellness in the presence of the source of everything you will ever need.