I always imagined the path less traveled to be more impressive. That evidence would abound that this was the right choice.
That’s not quite true.
Of course, it really just depends on your measuring stick.
When I think of my fellow classmates who are doctors or business owners or well-paid professionals, I feel disappointed in my current career status.
None of my jobs have been on par with my potential you could say.
But I’ve had choices to make. We’ve all had choices to make. We’ve all had different life experiences that have shaped our career paths and all we can ever do is just make the choice we think is best in the moment that we have to make the choice.
I wonder sometimes about opportunities I didn’t take. I wonder about places I didn’t go and people I didn’t meet and the natural consequences of the choices I’ve made. Of course, the other side of that coin is the places I have gone, the people I did meet and the natural consequences of those actions. We can never really know what would have happened down the road we didn’t take. There are too many variables. I guess we shouldn’t spend too much time wondering and miss the what’s before us now, wherever we are.
I wonder if I’ll ever get to stretch my wings and fly the way I think I could (should?). I wonder if there are just some lives we’ll never get to live in the course of living the lives we have. I wonder if maybe we can choose to live it all anyways – tangled up and messy and all of it overlapping and imperfect and none of it ever wrapped up neatly or finished.
I wonder if I’ve hidden behind my choices, choosing anything but myself sometimes out of fear.
I think about the choices I’ve made out of fear. So many choices…
I think about the moment I stopped being afraid of an out-of-control life. I think about surrender.
I think about these moments I never would have had if I had chosen with fear, if I had chosen the well-worn path, if I had refused surrender.
Maybe evidence does abound.
Maybe it just depends on where you look.